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Bart Says
I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson--only with more cursing! We're gonna live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!
Try not to move, Dad. You swallowed a lot of motor oil.
I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed.
Good-bye, Japan! I'll miss you Kentucky Fried Chicken and your sparkling, whale-free seas.
The best part was when the buildings fell down.
KWYJIBO - A big dumb balding, north American ape, with no chin.
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day, the birth of Santa?
Joe's Crematorium. You kill em, we grill em.
Three-time soapbox derby chamo Ronnie beck says, 'Poorly guarded construction sites are a gold mine.'
If you quit it'd be like an expert knot tire, quitting a knot tying contest, right in the middle of trying a knot.
Like a sock maker secretly working on a top secret sock that...
Well in my family, grades aren't important. It's what you learn that counts.
Dad, I'm kinda edgy right now. I'd appreciate you not coming in my room screaming and brandishing a butcher knife.
And later, I'll teach you the tricks of trade; taping your swimsuit to your butt, putting petroleum jelly on your teeth for that frictionless smile, and the ancient art of padding.
Ohhh. It seems like everywhere I look, people are enjoying knives!
I just want to say how great it is to finally see some chicks on the bench. Keep up the good work, toots.
I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...aye carumba!
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks?
There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
You know, I've done a lot of bad stuff through the years. I guess now I'm paying the price. But there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette, use a fake ID, shave a swear word in my hair.
I think its ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas
Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.
Why would anyone want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace!
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
I can't stand to see you so upset, Lis, unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress - Hmm, that gives me an idea note for later: put rubber spider down Lisa's dress.
I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
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